You Could Be Happy
by obliviousworlds
Summary: "Stop." Cas says and eases up a bit. "I can't stand to see you do this to yourself, Dean." oneshot! implied destiel, set sometime after swan song. Don't like don't read.


It's no lie that when Sam goes to hell, Dean might as well have gone down with him.

While Sam is in the cage with Lucifer and Michael, Dean's still on earth letting himself go downhill because he couldn't save his brother.

Dean goes to bars everynight and get's so wasted, he gets into fights a lot. He'll come back to whichever motel room he's holed up in all beaten and bruised and just plain sick. He'll wake up with a hangover and then just sulk all day until he can go back the next night. Then it starts all over.

Cas keeps tabs on him. He has been since this all started, and frankly, he doesn't like what he sees.

Eventually, he just drops into Dean's motel room uninvited, which Dean complains about but is to wasted to even notice, and Cas just shakes his head at him.

"Do you have any idea what your doing?" Cas asks and tilts Dean's head up toward him and gets a good look at the fresh beaten face. "Why are you doing this?"

Dean doesn't have an answer. He just looks up at him like a kicked puppy and Cas tilts his head at him because he doesn't understand. Not until Dean leans against him from where he's sitting on the bed that is, then he realizes that this is something totally new.

He doesn't even realize what he's doing until his arms are already wrapped around Dean's slim form, and he doesn't make any move to pull back either. Dean doesn't object by it either so it must not be so bad.

Cas should get back to heaven. He has things to take care of, and those things don't involve cuddling with Dean Winchester on a motel bed in the middle of the night.

"I miss my brother Cas." Dean says through tears and sniffs hard. That's when Cas decides heaven can wait.

"I know you do." Is all he says before he hears Dean's breathing even out into sleep. He places a hand on the hunter's head and waits out the night with him.

Cas even stays when Dean's stomach revolts all the alcohol he consumed the night before, helping him lean over the tiny trashcan beside the bed and listening to him break out into painful, retching.

"Is this what you do every morning?" He asks.

"You get used to it." Dean answers after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Cas's anger flares when Dean's in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He knows if he leaves now then this will just start all over tonight.

"You need to stop." He tells Dean when Dean comes out of the bathroom. "Your gonna kill yourself."

"Maybe that's what I want." Dean answers and does his best to glare at him through, red, bloodshot eyes.

"Is that what Sam would want?"

"Fuck off Cas. Don't you have some angels to go keep in line or something?"

Cas loses control and slams Dean against the motel wall so hard, Dean see's stars for a minute.

"Let me go!" Dean yells and struggles against him.

"Stop." Cas says and eases up a bit. "I can't stand to see you do this to yourself, Dean."

Dean swallows hard and scoffs. "Real sweet of you."

Cas stares at him for a minute before reaching inside Dean, despite his screams of pain, and tries to figure out what the fuck is going on with him.

"Your depressed." He finally says. "About Sam. Your mad because you couldn't save him."

Dean tries to control his breathing again and tries one more time to break free from the angel's hold. "My brother's in the cage. He shouldn't be, but he is." He says and grabs the angel's coat with both of his hands as he's still pinned against the wall. "I'm not like you. You could care less that your brother's are down there, and I get it. But I was supposed to watch out for Sam. I was supposed to..."

Cas lets go when tears fall from Dean's eyes and he can't finish his sentence. Never has he ever seen Dean show emotion like he's doing now.

As Dean slides down to the floor, he takes Cas with him. Hands still gripping the trench like his life depends on it and Cas lets himself wrap his arms around his friend again.

"I feel like I'm forever gonna have this gaping hole left in my chest because of what happened. I fucking miss him, Cas." Dean says softly around his crying.

Cas lets his hand run through Dean's hair as he continues to hold him. This is odd, he has to admit, but at the same time, it feels right.

He doesn't even know what else to say except "I know."

Dean seems to accept that as he burrows his face into Cas's chest and sighs.

There are a few other things that Dean and Cas really don't know about either.

Like how Sam isn't really in hell battling with the devil and Michael and is just in fact, standing outside of the motel room peeking into the slightly open window at his brother and his angel cuddling.

How he escaped the cage, he doesn't know. And he sure as hell doesn't want to find out either.

He should go in and surprise Dean and tell him that he's really there and isn't down in hell with Michael and Lucifer, but he changes his mind when he sees him and Cas freakin cuddling. Yeah, guess Cas was right about that more profound bound.

Sam sighs and takes a step back. He can't do this, not right now anyways. He could give Dean the normal life he's always deserved.

"You could be happy, Dean." Sam says quietly and smiles at the way Cas is holding his brother and is talking to him quietly, like an upset child. There's no way he's just gonna interupt that.

So he just walks away, leaving his brother and his angel to do whatever they want.

It'll stay like that for a year.

* * *

_**Well, how was it? My first attempt at Destiel :P They give me all the right feelings :) **_


End file.
